Gratitude this Sunday

20180812_101051_0001Listening to the falling rain come down as I look around at these loving faces at breakfast. I wonder what I did to to deserve these people and these experiences? Nothing. Truly we all deserve love, good things, and positive experiences in life. I wish that and all helpful, beneficial things for you. Also, more often than not, it takes time to cultivate these relationships. Other times we need to remember to reach out and reach in to grow this relationship within ourselves, too. It can take work and soul searching. Life is a mix of tough and good, so these things are not highlighted or remembered during our painful times unless we practice gratitude for them. Wishes for happiness and loving thoughts. ❤❤ #serenitysunday #soulfulsunday #deserving #goodthings

 

Inspirations

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Enjoying time away from home and thinking about what inspires. I am loving time away from the daily grind with some of my tribe. The miles may separate us, but our heartstrings hold us close.❤ Love.#inspireme #inspiration

Some of the things that inspire me are: Compassion
Forgiveness
Nature
Helping others
Desire
Brave hearts
Vulnerability
Kindness
Love
Empathy
Passion
Insight
Mindfulness
Burning candle
Directness
Willingness to change
Working on ourselves
Direct, gentle communucation
Shadow work
Inclusion
Welcoming others
Gut feelings
Dogs and animals playing
Smiles
Thank yous
People helping others
Fur baby kisses and barks
Children playing
Babies
Loving kindness compsssion
Change
Family and friends
Spirituality

Dealing with Negativity

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How to Deal with Negative Behavior (Passive Aggressive or Other)

The best way to deal with it is to ignore it. Unfortunately, sometimes, the more attention that is given then the more the drama fire grows. Often people just want to know that something bothers us or that they have the “upper hand” or power to hurt. Sometimes they care and sometimes they don’t. In reality, it is because they do not feel very powerful and are working out some of their needs and hurts that were not met during their lives/life. This is not our problem, but it is very sad and tragic. Their inner child, little person is hurting or was badly hurt or triggered, and so they are hurting someone else as a result. Or else just trying to release the hurt, angst, and stuff from inside them.

We all carry this little person (inner child) inside ourselves. Unless we had a perfect upbringing where all of our needs, wants, and goals were met, and we were loved unconditionally and never experienced any pain, hurt or trauma, this hurt child is still with us. I do not believe there is a soul like this in this world, but perhaps I am wrong. If it is you, then I am so happy you had such an amazingly beautiful and seemingly perfect life and upbringing! We all want this are trying to work through our stuff to get to this. It is blissful!

Remember, our humanity is what connects us. We are human and can relate to one another. We can all be negative, hurtful or passive aggressive, which is a way of being indirect. Perhaps we are afraid of being vulnerable; it is scary to have us exposed. It could feel unsafe to us to reveal our feelings or thoughts! And, maybe we do not feel entitled to feel the way we feel. On the other hand, we are not aware that we are acting this way because it is subconscious and not intentional (this is one of those benefit of the doubt things.) Finally, we may just lack the communication skills and the ability to be assertive.

What do you do if you cannot ignore it? The other option is to discuss it with your person (whoever they are). It is important to understand that just because you want to resolve the issue and get back to normal does not mean that the other person does. Nor does it mean that they will say sorry or be sorry for how it affects you. It also does not mean that the other person is going to change. An important goal for the conversation (for yourself) is to express how you feel when the person does something and how you would like to be treated.

None of us can change anyone. We are not responsible for anyone nor are we responsible for anyone else acts or speaks or does not do so. We can only mend ourselves and our behaviors and feelings. And we all want to be happy, to be positive, and to get along, but sometimes or maybe often our own stuff, self, pain, and patterns can get in way. That is okay because life is a process! We are all works in progress.

If you are hurt or feel left out, take good care of yourself. Perhaps coloring, writing, playing, talking with another friend, exercising, going on a nature walk or a nice, relaxing bath/shower will help. Perhaps you have a coping technique that has worked before like reading, biking, yoga, meditating, praying, creating something, watching a movie, petting your dog, cat or other fur baby or friend! Do what works for you.

Keep in mind, it is not your fault nor is it your problem. It is the other person’s personal issue that they are responsible for. You are responsible for you and for mending your yard and fence. If you did do something, you are always able and welcome to address that with the person. But only if you feel you were in the wrong or hurt or upset someone. This is not your responsibility if you did none of those things and addressed it. Once we hand our part over, apology or whatever, it is the onus is on the other person to deal with their part. Sometimes they don’t and sometimes they do. Life can be hard in these cases. But you will be ok and you are fine now. Love yourself. Don’t beat up yourself or feel responsible.

This was an interesting article for some self-reflection, enjoy!

7 Signs You’re Being Passive-Aggressive (and How to Stop)

https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/3462-signs-you-re-being-passive-aggressive

Relationships and Connections

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Being connected to others makes us feel safe, accepted, cared for, and understood in an otherwise lonely existence. It is not needy to want connection. It is human!Otherwise we would be alone.

This does not mean that you get all your needs met by a connection or connection, but that some of your needs are met through your connections and by connecting. You will still have the opportunity for self-care and meeting your own needs outside of these connections. This is one reason it is not co-dependent. It is important to remember, too, that even though you get some needs met by your loved ones and those you connect with, they are not responsible for how you feel, your happiness, or your life. That is yours to build and develop. #connecting #human existence #love #longing

Acceptance and Moving Towards Forgiveness

We all want and really need to be met where we are in life, wherever and however we are doing. This usually means as someone who struggles at times, is not always happy or fine, and is not perfect, if there was such a thing as perfection. I wholeheartedly believe we all want to be loved as we are and forgiven for our mistakes, big and small. We all, all of us, make mistakes. We want to be seen for all our beauty and not remembered for our imperfections or wrong doings. We are works in progress. We want to be accepted for who we are and this is a core (extremely deep) desire. No judgment. Much love❤-Alyse. #meetuswhereweare #acceptance #forgiveness #wearenotouractions

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